It was the end of May 2020. We were a month plus into the Covid lockdown, working remotely, taking turns caring for our kids at home, building a garage apartment for his mom to live in, and driving back and forth to a city three hours away where his sister lived. She was dying of cancer and we were helping care for her. Twenty years deep in a good marriage; I was working hard to hold everything together while he was struggling with his sister’s rough road.
One week it was my turn with his sister; I was working remotely, helping her through really tough chemo, talking to doctors about treatment options, etc. that week I was paying bills and happened to look more closely at the phone bill because the overall usage was much higher than I remembered. Our sixth grader had recently gotten a phone, and I was worried I hadn’t set the parental controls correctly. My kids’ usage was fine; my introverted, phone-averse husband’s was through the roof, all to one number. Oddly, though I had suspected nothing on a conscious level, I instantly knew who it was.
It took me a week to work up the courage to confront him; he lied and gaslit me to the point I felt like I was a terrible, jealous unstable person. A month later I was like, nope. I’m not crazy. He’s lying. I hard core snooped and found proof. My world fell apart and I still haven’t fully recovered, even though we’re reconciling.
I know it’s awful and not fully reasonable or fair, but I feel jealous of those of you whose spouses confessed. 😢😢😢
[This message edited by Grieving at 11:41 PM, Sunday, October 6th]
