Husband cheated with co worker

Found out last night that my husband of 25 years cheated with a co worker 20 years younger than him.
I feel sick.
I had my suspicions months ago after a lot of mentionistis as he was always talking about her and about how funny she is etc and I noticed they were texting each other a lot about non work things and noticed him on his phone more late at night.

She is very attractive, 35 and is very career driven and doesn’t have or want children.
Everything opposite to me.

She was offered a new job and since my husband found out she is leaving the company they both work for he has been really upset saying how much he is going to miss her it was like he was pining for already.

I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with the amount of contact they were having and time spent with her (always in the pub after work together especially since she said she is leaving) he laughed it off saying she isn’t interested in him and he isn’t interested in her and that they just like a lot of the same things and it’s just a good friendship.
Then a few nights ago he went out after work for a "few drinks" and he got home at 2am, he never stays out that late.

I just had a gut feeling he was with her all night so the next day I checked his phone when he was in the shower.
I saw on his uber app that he had got an uber from her house at 1.30am so I knew that’s where he had been.
Then I checked his texts and he sent her a text that morning thanking her for a ‘brilliant night’ she replied saying the pleasure was all hers and he sent back’ not just yours’
I knew something had happened.

I confronted him and told me that if he didn’t tell me the truth I would call her and ask her myself.

He then completely broke down and admitted that they went out, they drank too much and went back to her house he said they didn’t have sex but they did engage in oral sex. He went down on her twice and she gave him a blowjob. I asked if they had kissed I don’t know why I felt that this was important after what I had found out! He said yes, they spent 2 hours making out and engaging in oral sex and to me this feels more intimate than drunken quick sex.

He said it didn’t mean anything but this woman he spoke so highly of for months, that he has worked alongside for years, that he spent so much time with after work in the pub…it feels it was emotional and not just a drunken mistake but that this has all built up.

Sorry for the long post. I feel utterly broken and I’m not sure where to go from here. We have been married 25 years, have 4 children and a new grandchild. My life is completely shattered.

10 comments posted: Monday, February 24th, 2025