Everyday a new lesson is learned.

No where to go

How do you manage when there is no where to go because of finances? He gets VA disability and SS. I get small amount of SS and have champva medical insurance as long as we are married. I can't get low income apartment because I have to inclued all monies of both incomes. If divorce I will lose insurance where I pay nothing for medical care and RX. We do have separate bedrooms and baths (a blessing) but shrare living room and kitchen. I just don't know how to deal with the constant pain of knowing he's just waiting for me to die or go to nursing home. I know I'm not what he wants because he's constantly online with women and sexual texting and chat rooms. The worst part is that he is not the person he led me to believe he was and that I was what he wanted and needed. Has anyone else dealt with this situation and if so, how? I'm on XANAX but it doesn't help much. Lately I think about taking the whole bottle and be done with this misery. I wonder how many others have ended their lives over the pain of betrayal?

2 comments posted: Thursday, September 19th, 2024

memory loss

Has anyone had memory loss caused by sex with a betrayer husband?
I was told that I got on the floor after he gave me oral sex and couldn't get back up for 5 hours and refused to have EMS called. I have bruise marks he said were from rolling around the floor and I finally made it off the floor when he said he was calling EMS unless I could get up. Then he said I sat in a chair and held and pet the cat which I never touch because she bites and scratches me. I never get on my knees because I have really bad knee caps. Then he said I went from room to room looking in drawers over and over and asking the same questions over and over. I wanted to know where the "apartment we live in is? We've always lived in a house. He said he kept asking me questions which I knew the answers to.
I googled memory loss and it said memory loss can , among other things, can be brought on by coital PTSD.
I have absolutely no rememberance of any of this happening. He also said I hit my head when I fell out of the bed to get on the floor. First he said the back of my head and then he changed it to the front of my head. I have NO sore places anywhere on my head.
Could this be PTSD memory loss?
Any info will be greatly appreciated.

10 comments posted: Monday, November 27th, 2023