SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have a simple ask for help. Really not so simple. I do not have the answers and do not pretend to know the answers. But I want to help comfort my wife and always make her feel safe. I Love my wife! And I recognize that my past affair in 2018 brings all that I do now or previously did into question.
The recent news of Jensen Huang's affair has set my wife into a fit of rage. Similar but even more severe than prior news of affairs by men in power (Bezos, Gates, Vrabel and others). How can I best comfort her in such times? What can I do to help in any way?

Over eight years later — and a fit of rage — sounds like a trigger connecting to a lot of unprocessed trauma.

I’m ten years later, and while the news you mentioned is a trigger, it doesn’t reopen any wounds for me.

Ultimately, you make someone feel safe by being safe.

I don’t know if you all had counseling and worked through things.

I don’t know what you’ve done so far to learn about why you made the choices you did, or the work you’ve done since.

My M includes 10-years of me processing all my pain, getting all of my questions answered, and my wife becoming the best version of herself.

Hard to know how to answer your question without knowing the work either of you have done since discovery day.

How can I best comfort her in such times? What can I do to help in any way?

You can’t do anything.
But while you cannot do, you can be :

If you feel genuinely and truly disgusted at the affairs, cheaters and affair partners in a way that truly makes you vomit.
She will take notice.

Sure it might be pointed out the obvious, that you were there too. And this will open a fight with your shame.

But if you are truly disgusted, then your remorse has already won the battle against shame, and true things are felt.

This will help her more than a billion words or gestures.

Because if it’s true, it will have already helped you to become the person you always deserved to be.