wantstorepair (original poster member #32598) posted at 10:44 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2024
I am not humble. I am arrogant, egotistical and a narcissist that always thinks I am right, better and justified, therefore I am defensive, not empathetic, abusive, controlling and manipulative. All this because I maintain a delusional positive image of myself to cover up a fragile self-image and the cowardly unwillingness to be vulnerable. I have not had the courage to lose my arrogant ego that is stopping me from making any moral progress, and continue to hurt and abuse my betrayed spouse and any progress between us.
If any of you WS’s out there are similar and have made progress, would you care to share how and what has worked for you to be a better person? Any BS’s out there who have been on the receiving end of this abuse that can share your thoughts as well? I imagine most will respond with "are you in IC?" I am not...avoided it because I am a coward and narcissist. Trying again with my first appointment with an new therapist this week...but I have been here before. Perhaps I'll man up this time and be honest and accept help.
OnTheOtherSideOfHell ( member #82983) posted at 12:40 AM on Monday, October 7th, 2024
I don’t have any advice, but as a betrayed spouse I want to warn you that for me, my husband needed to regain trust not for the obvious of no more cheating, but more importantly, demonstrate I can trust he has normal loving emotions. Narcissism, controlling, abusive behavior does not suggest "I love you and want to be better". Whether you cheat again or not your wife deserves a partner with healthy and pure feelings of love. I do think IC will help you determine whether that’s even possible for you.
