I believe there is such a thing as 'A fog', but I think it's best to ignore it, because I haven't found a way for a BS to exploit it.
I think each A has a natural course, unique to each A. If the BS puts pressure on at the right point, it may cause the WS to wake up and resolve to fix their dysfunctions. If the pressure comes too early or too late, it will cause the WS to stay in the fog. Gently, going NC is only part of the way out of the fog.
As a result of that guess/hypothesis, my reco is to figure out what you want and how long the BS will wait before forcing the WS into a choice.
If you want to R or even consider R, I think you have to follow your own path, because you can't change your WS and because you can't even predict how the WS will respond to any initiative - even if your version of taking initiative is to wait. (Remember: the Daoists say, 'In non-action, nothing will be left undone.')
Of course, some people deny the 'A fog' exists, which you'll soon see.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:56 PM, Thursday, December 7th]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.