Topic is Sleeping. 
			 
				    				 thebighurt (original poster  member #34722)		posted at 8:44 PM on Sunday, September 24th, 2023	
			 
	Hi Everyone,
I came back a couple of months ago with an update I put in General in hopes it would encourage struggling members there, but could have put it here, too. (ID 8803740)
I have been doing things xpos would never go along with because he was so controlling ( still is, I'm sure). My adult kids have told me they are proud of how I have lived life on my own, the things I have done for myself and by myself. 
I found the perfect truism that represents all of that my life has been since:
"She turned her cants into cans and her dreams into plans." 
 
			 			Finding what life could have been.......   Why didn't I see it?		
	 	 			 
				    				Shehawk ( member #68741)		posted at 10:43 PM on Sunday, September 24th, 2023	
			 
	Feels good to see positive posts!
May we all turn what life and wayward spouses dealt us into good!! 
 
			 			"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!		
	 	 			 
				    				leafields ( Guide #63517)		posted at 4:50 AM on Monday, September 25th, 2023	
			 
	
She turned her cant's into cans and her dreams into plans
That is awesome! 
 
			 			BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21		
	 	 			 
				    				crazyblindsided ( member #35215)		posted at 6:37 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2023	
			 
	I love this so much. That's exactly what I've been doing since I left, turning can'ts into cans. Life is limitless now! 
 
			 			fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024		
	 	 			 
				    				Helena67 ( member #80506)		posted at 10:02 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2023	
				BS (me) 56 years. Divorced!!!		
	 	 			 
				    				 thebighurt (original poster  member #34722)		posted at 12:26 AM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2023	
			 
	I hope so, too, Shehawk.
Thank you, Leafields.
I'm so glad you have done this, too, Crazyblindsided! xpos's response to anything I suggested was most often an immediate, "No!", even if he later claimed the suggestion and we did it.    So those cant's became cans when I didn't need his input. And a good number of the places I had dreamed of traveling or doing things have been checked off the Bucket List!! More to check coming up!
  So those cant's became cans when I didn't need his input. And a good number of the places I had dreamed of traveling or doing things have been checked off the Bucket List!! More to check coming up!    
  
Thank you, Helena 67.
I hope you all join me in this great feeling of freedom and accomplishment. 
 
			 			Finding what life could have been.......   Why didn't I see it?		
	 	 			 
				    				de.va.sta.ted ( member #22922)		posted at 1:50 PM on Wednesday, October 4th, 2023	
			 
	I adore these posts, thank you for sharing. 
 
			 			Me: BW Him: WH D-Day 1: February 2009 D-Day 2: April 2018 Divorced!		
	 	 
	 Topic is Sleeping.